The Secret of Love: What We Learn from the Rickshaw
During our lifetime, most of us experience being in debt of some kind, such as paying off a fridge, a car or a house. It can feel awkward and even a little bit scary to be in debt, especially if big money is involved. Realistically, there is much in life that the majority of us cannot gain without placing ourselves in that position.
We don’t like the thought of debt lasting a lifetime, but prefer to see it as a temporary means to an end. Therefore, it might seem strange to know that the Bible advocates that we deliberately and irreversibly enter into a particular kind of endless “debt.”
Let me explain. Romans 13:8 says, “Owe no one anything, except to love each other,” and 1 Corinthians 13:8 says, “Love never ends.”
The Bible is not saying that paying off a new washing machine is sinful, but rather highlighting the fact that the best kind of obligation is ongoing love.
Let us explore this matter with an illustration. In some parts of the world, such as Asia and India, you can still find rickshaws pulled along by human beings. Picture the scene: the passenger sits comfortably on a padded seat joined by a frame to two large wheels. Extending forward from the frame are two parallel poles, which the runner holds as he pulls the rickshaw forward. Probably the most difficult part of this activity is pulling the rickshaw uphill.
Consider this question: is this illustration describing abuse, control or love? The answer will depend on the attitude of the passenger and of the runner. Here are three options:
Abuse: The Passenger Rules. In this case, the passenger refuses to budge, always wants to be carried, and rules over the runner with an iron fist. The runner is, therefore, trapped at the working end of the rickshaw, walking and running ceaselessly, supplying all of the momentum. This pictures a dysfunctional relationship, an uneasy partnership between an abuser and a victim who may or may not be an enabler.
Control: The Runner Rules. With this scenario, the runner’s self-esteem is caught up in his serving role. There is no way that he would consider relinquishing control of the poles to become the passenger. To do so would amount to failure and injure his sense of self worth. Such a person can be very giving and self-sacrificing, but can never show vulnerability or need. This results in the passenger being trapped in the chair, without the opportunity to ever get any exercise by becoming the runner.
Love: The Willingness to Reverse Roles. Here the passenger and the runner are willing and ready to swap roles by mutual consent. When the runner tires, the passenger jumps down and takes over the strenuous work, enabling the other person to rest. On the other hand, the runner is happy to become the passenger and enjoy being on the receiving end of the arrangement.
How is the third option a picture of love? Being a lover involves more than giving; it also includes the ability to receive. The roles of passenger and runner switch about on a regular basis in a loving relationship, depending on the situation at the time. For example, I am the runner when I am chopping firewood and my wife is the passenger when she sits by a warm fire in the winter. She is the runner when she makes me a hot drink and I am the passenger when I drink it.
That’s how love works. Unfortunately, the inability to give love or to receive it subverts the process of love. In order to love well, we need to learn to do both with a willing heart.
Wayne.
To learn more about Wayne’s book, Revelations of the Kingdom for Suspicious Minds, read his blogs, or to make contact with Wayne, visit waynejohns.co.nz
